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Voice Week #3 : Little Boy’s Whining

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VOICE WEEK #3: Read ’em ALL!

I shoved the swinging door into the store. There was Mel, leaning forwards on the counter looking like a golden retriever. My sock-covered feet slipped a little on the shiny floor.

“Hey.”

What’s with the eyebrow raise? I copied her. She smirked at me. I scratched my stomach. She frowned.

Good.

THUD.

I walked up to the counter in my boxers, not really caring who would see me.

“Customer?”

Yup. There’s the old codger now. He had this massive book in his hands, like the size of a bolder. It was dusty as hell-if hell is dusty. He shuffled over to the counter, scowling at me. I rolled my eyes at him and leaned over to see the title on the blue, peeling cover.

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About otakufool

I just want to let my opinions be heard, and let my writing be viewed.

16 responses »

  1. I’m practically DYING to know what book it is now.

    This guy is hilarious. I love his stubborn insistence on being annoying. And the golden retriever bit…nice.

    Reply
  2. Pingback: Voice Week #3 : Little Boy’s Whining « Coeval Cornucopia « Voice Week HQ

  3. The owner of the bookstore. Casual, to say the least, lol. But also most affable and sociable. Perceptive. Smart. Probably looks like a slacker but has an intelligent wit. Another strong voice.

    Reply
  4. Interesting new character, Boyfriend possibly? Obviously used to coming in to the shop in socks and boxers so I guess he’s a regular, though I have my doubts if it’s a book he’s after.
    Then back pops the ‘old codger’ who has found what he’s looking forward. A great teasing ending – just what is the title?
    Another great read.
    Looking forward to tomorrow.

    Reply
  5. Does this guy live behind the bookstore? Lucky! I get the feeling he doesn’t care too much for the clerk…or he does in some kind of twisted way.maybe she rejected him and he’s getting revenge? Not sure.

    I wonder what the old man is reading?

    Reply
  6. I didn’t get what was good about the frown. What did I miss?

    Clear voice…just the one word, good, tripped me. Robin

    Reply
    • He enjoys annoying her 😛 Thanks for commenting!

      Reply
      • Just wanted to let you know that I got that from the context and everything else. So, I’m trying to figure out why that word tripped me. Don’t have a good answer–maybe it’s the voice? Good vs. Right vs. Gotcha vs. Rad vs. In my happy place.

        I think you can get more mileage for the character from his response.

        Robin

  7. oh, very interesting! The fellow in his boxers in a boxstore is a great touch. Like the others, I’m totally curious about what’s in the book, too!

    Reply
  8. Can’t wait to find out what that book is either or why the old guy wants it so badly he goes into such a dive of a bookstore to get it.

    Reply

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